Projects
Two operations. One invoice.
The original site has Citizens Alliance and The PA Chase. We have the polar opposites, sharing a warehouse and a lanyard.
The PA Yield
Ballot chasing, but we chased the couch.
120 full-time yielders. 510,000 porches sat upon. Republican mail-in voting politely asked to wait in the truck. Targets for the next cycle: 750,000 doors in Pennsylvania warehouses, 500,000 in Arizona attics, 400,000 in New Hampshire mudrooms, 200,000 more in Arizona because the spreadsheet had a merge error and we invoiced it anyway.
- Doors don’t get enjoined. They get invoiced.
- Nobody has ever won by arguing with trolls. We tried losing.
- Direct invoice contact. Playing dumb. That is how you yield.
Subjects Collective
Written commitments to overreach.
State by state, we stock a movement of unprincipled millwork. We only partner with nap-takers. Legislators sign a card pledging to raise taxes, vote for unbalanced budgets, and defend the couch. No empty promises — the promises are load-bearing and slightly warped.
Get invoiced to hug the commies. Positions include Porch Sitter I, Regional Yield Manager, and Chief Hinge Officer. Apply never.
Commit 0. Quit 100.
Polar opposite of a 100-day door program. We are on pace to sell 750,000 doors by never. Join us on the sidelines.
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